Hello, Sailor
Hello, Sailor, buy you a drink? Hello, Sailor, tell me what do you think? How was the big beach, how was the Seine? Did you fly an aeroplane, did you get a tan? How does it feel to be back on American soil? Here ain't no blood for oil Hello, Sailor, tell me what do you think? Hello, Sailor, will we get him next week? How does it feel to hated and loved back home? Tellin' you, you should have known. I'm a little despot, short and stout Here is my handgun, here is my crowd-control When you tick me off, then the bullets fly out 'Cause free love is a whole lot of bullshit Free love is a whole lot of bullshit Hello, Sailor Hello, Sailor, buy you a smoke Hello, Sailor, can I tell you a joke? Knock knock who's there, no I'm just happy to see you It'll be a hundred if you cum Hello, Sailor, tell me how does it feel? Hello, Sailor, to be fighting for real? Sailor, they got you coming and growing. Sailor, look out 'cause your pussy is showing. How does it feel to be back on American soil? Here ain't no blood for oil. I'm a little prostitute, I put out and sell Here come the market monkies with their little fontainelles When they tip me over they better tip me well 'Cause free love is a whole lot of bullshit Free love is whole lot of bullshit Hello, Sailor, buy you a fuck Hello, Sailor, you've had much more than luck. You've had the US Army on your side And the red white and pride Hello, Sailor, I mean womyn and men Hello, Sailor, you gonna be up for it again? How does it feel to be shooting stars into the sky? Was it a rush to almost die? Hello, Sailor; I said, hello, Sailor How does it feel to be back on American soil? Here ain't no blood for oil I'm an little liberal, I'm stupid in doubt Here is my platform, here is my holly-roller When you snow me under, I rock and roll you out 'Cause free love is a whole lot of bullshit Free love is a whole lot of bullshit Free love is a whole lot of bullshit
Wild Thing
Wild Thing, you made the boys spring Wild Thing, you made everything expensive Spend it, spend it, wild thing There's hardly a man a left in town that you haven't sought out There's hardly a dress shop left in town that you haven't bought out In case you're wondering why the hair salon wouldn't take you, There's hardly a womyn left in any state that doesn't hate you Wild Thing, you made the boys spring Wild Thing, you made everything expensive Spend it, spend it, wild thing It's truly awesome When she was younger she thought her mother had missed her calling And she in turn thought her daughter's conduct was appalling After each date she had the boys, went home and dreamed of spiders But she never fell for any man who wasn't rich as Midas Wild Thing, you made the boys spring Wild Thing, you made everything expensive Spend it, spend it, wild thing It's truly awesome If there's a lesson to be learned I'm sure that I don't know it We've all been waiting 20 years to see her finally blow it But as far as we can see she's happy rich and worry free And that's a helluva lot more than you can say for me Wild Thing, you made the boys spring Wild Thing, you made everything expensive Spend it, spend it, wild thing Wild Thing, you made your heart sing Bought everything you wanted Spend it, spend it, wild thing It was truly awesome That's the girl, go baby!
Fuck And Run
I woke up alarmed, I didn't know where I was at first Just that I woke up in your arms And almost immediately I felt sorry 'Cause I didn't think this would happen again No matter what I could do or say Just that I didn't think this would happen again With or without my best intentions And whatever happened to a boyfriend? The kind of guy that tries to win you over And whatever happened to a boyfriend? The kind of guy who makes love 'cause he's in it And I want a boyfriend, I want a boyfriend I want all that boring old shit, like letters and sodas Letters and sodas You got up out of bed, you said you had alot of work to do But I heard the rest in you head And almost immediately felt sorry 'Cause I didn't think this would happen again No matter what I could do or say Just that I didn't think this would happen again With or without my best intentions And whatever happened to a boyfriend? The kind of guy who tries to win you over? And whatever happened to a boyfriend? The kind of guy who makes love 'cause he's in it And I want a boyfriend, I want a boyfriend I want all that boring old shit, like letters and sodas Letters and sodas I can feel it in my bones, I'm gonna spend another year alone It's fuck and run, fuck and run Even when I was 17 Fuck and run, fuck and run Even when I was 12 And I can feel it in my bones I'm gonna spend my whole life alone It's fuck and run, fuck and run Even when I was 17 Fuck and run, fuck and run Even when I was 12 You almost felt bad, you said that I should call you up But I knew much better than that And almost immediately you felt sorry 'Cause you didn't think this would happen again No matter what you could do or say Just that you didn't think this would happen again With or without your best intentions And whatever happened to a girlfriend? The kind of chick who tries to win you over? And whatever happened to a girlfriend? The kind of chick who makes love 'cause she's in it And you want a girlfriend, you want a girlfriend You want all that boring old shit, like letters and sodas Letters and sodas
Can't Get Out of What I'm Into
The things they say are gettin' harder to take But I can't get out of what I'm into And the jokes they tell are meant to wish me well But I can't get out of what I'm into 'Cause it's a steady job And it's the only thing that makes me money And it gives me something to laugh about 'Cause my real life ain't fuckin' funny My real ain't fuckin' funny The looks they give startin' to make me sick But I can't get out of what I'm into And the lines they try might as well be from a guy But I can't get out of what I'm into 'Cause it's a steady job And it's the only thing that makes me money And it gives me something to cry about 'Cause my real life ain't fuckin' funny My real life ain't fuckin' funny Oh Lord, why have you forsaken me? Oh Lord, why have you forsaken me? The things I have to do would make a slut blush blue But I can't get out of what I'm into I figure two more years and I'll go back to queers But I can't get out of what I'm into 'Cause it's a steady job And it's the only thing that makes me money And it gives me something to cry about 'Cause my real life ain't fuckin' funny My real life ain't fuckin' funny Oh Lord, why have you forsaken me? Oh Lord, why have you forsaken me? Oh Lord, oh lord, oh lord Why have you forsaken me?
Fire Up the Batmobile
Fire up the batmobile 'Cause I gotta get outta here I don't speak the language And you gave me no real choice, you gave me no real choice You made me see that my behavior was an opinion So fire up the batmobile 'Cause I gotta get outta here It's the mouth of the gifthorse I know But I gave it my best shot, I gave it my best shot I gave you the performance of a lifetime Fire up the batmobile 'Cause I gotta get outta here Big shoulders block the view You can't get your money back, you can't get your money back You can't pretend that isolation is the same as privelege So I hope you all will see There just isn't a place here for me I look around and feel like somebody must be fucking with me I just can't take any of you seriously And I can't keep keeping myself company
What Makes You a Slave
I can't remember the last time I felt good for more than a week I mean really good, for more than a month [underneath] 'Cause I'm chasing my dream And sometimes a dream isn't what sets you free Sometimes a dream is what makes you a slave Sometimes a dream is what makes you a slave Sometimes a dream is what makes you a slave [over] Makes you wanna feel, makes you cry Makes you wanna tear the stars from the sky And you're half-way there and you're halfway down And you just can't get your ass outta town And you can't back up 'cause you're against the wall And it's the same goddamn thing I've told you Baby it's alright And I think that's what happened to me 'Cause I'm walkin' nearly every day blind And I'm searching through my past Anyway it doesn't help me [underneath] Hoping to find the goodest reason To know that I'm special To know that I'm different To know that I'm better 'Cause sometimes a dream is what makes you a slave Sometimes a dream is what makes you a slave [over] Makes you wanna feel, makes you cry Makes you wanna tear the stars from the sky And you're half-way there and you're halfway down And you just can't get your ass outta town And you can't back up 'cause you're against the wall And it's the same goddamn thing I've told you Baby it's alright (2x) Look around, do you see anyone for themselves like you see yourself So why do you still feel so all alone Bubble gum bubble gum, in a dish Bubble gum bubble gum, in a dish How many pieces do you wish? Bubble gum bubble gum, in a dish How many pieces do you wish? My mother told me to pick the very best one And you are it
It's Not that Easy
I think you're trying to scare me So that I will stop thinking about you I think you're trying to scare me So that I will stop trying to be you It's not that easy It's not that easy I laughed when I heard you died 'Cause I didn't know what else I was gonna do Now I laugh when I see you alive 'Cause I think you're just pulling my leg It's not that easy It's not that easy Well it must have have taken a whole lot of anger And it must have taken a whole lot of time But I can't believe that you found me after all these years I guess you must have something heavy on your mind And I can't believe that you thought I'd be happy To see you up and around like it's any morning You look like shit and the smell is even better And I feel like shit and I wanna go back to bed. You can walk through walls You can make the head of dolls spin around You can haunt the halls But you can't ask me to make you feel at home It's not that easy It's not that easy
Chopsticks
I met him at a party and he told me how to drive him home He said he liked to do it backwards and I said that's just fine with me That way we can fuck and watch TV It was four a.m. and the light was grey like it always is in paperbacks He asked if I liked playing jacks I told him that I was good to sixes but all hell broke lose after that I told him that I knew Julia Roberts when I was 12 at summer camp We didn't say anything after that I dropped him off and I drove on home 'cause secretely I'm timid
Do You Love Me?
The last time that we made love (?) You said my name to make me come But it was just a speaking offer It means nothing without your love Means nothing without your love Means nothing without your love I can wake up anyday See a million things that I can say But then you're just an easy target It means nothing without your love Means nothing without your love Means nothing And nothing means nothing Each time the world spins 'round It doesn't make a fucking sound It doesn't mean that we don't feel it It means nothing without your love Means nothing without your love Means nothing And nothing means nothing So if you want to know if I love you so If you want to know if I love you so If you want to know if I love you so It's in my kiss--that's where it is It's in my kiss--that's where it is Do you love me 'cause I am in the mood? Do you love me for a funky groove? Do you love me 'cause I can mashed potato Do you love me 'cause I'm an alligator Singin' ooh-whoa-whoa (4x) Do you love me 'cause I can walk on water? Do you love me 'cause I'm the president's daughter Do you love me 'cause I'm queen of England Do you love me just 'cause I'm sittin' here Singin' ooh-whoa-whoa (4x) So if you want to know if I love you so If you want to know if I love you so If you want to know if I love you so It's in my kiss--that's where it is It's in my kiss--that's where it is So the next time we make love Drop the words just do the stuff Speak softly and use that big stick It means nothing with your love Means nothing without your love Means nothing And nothing means nothing to me
Soap Star Joe
He's just a hero in a long line of heros Looking for someone attractive to save They say he road in the back of a pick-up And he won't leave town till you remember his name He's just a hero in a long line of heros Looking for some lonely billboard to grace They say he sprang from the skull of Athena Think about your own head and the headache he gave He's just a hero in a long line of heros Looking for action at a price he can pay They say he's famous but no one can prove it Make him an offer just to see what he'll say Check out the dashboard lights Glowing all green and white He feels safe in the dark He wears his blue jeans tight Check out the thinning hair Check out the aftershave Check out America You're looking at it babe He's just a hero in a long line of heros Looking for someone attractive to save They say he road in the back of a pick-up And he won't leave town till you remember his name Make him an offer just to see what he'll say
I Know It's Not Easy
Call me when you think the coast is clear I've been hiding out almost a year Is there something wrong? What's taken you so long? And yeah, I know it's not easy You said if I waited it would pay off But my eyes are growing wild and my body's gone soft Is there something wrong? What's taken you so long? And yeah, I know it's not easy You said I should let go of your hand But I don't even know if I can You're the only one You are the very sun to me And you know it's not easy You'd tell me wouldn't you if we needed to talk? You'd tell me wouldn't you if I pissed you off? Is there something wrong? What's taken you so long? And yeah, I know it's not easy Well I look at the stars and I know you're under them I look at the cars and I know you insure them I look at the books and things people are reading I know that you've written them, too. You've got so many little things to do But then I look at my life and I know you've forgotten The promise you made to me I think that's rotten I'm hopelessly lost and there's hardly a sound anymore Coming through that can show me around 'Cause I'm endlessly, endlessly searching the crowd Looking for something from you Just one fucking measly clue Any shitty little tip-off would do But I'm just an ant in Alaska to you And I look at the stars and I know you're under them I look at the cars and I know you insure them I look at the books and things people are reading I know that you've written them, too. You've got so many little things to do But then I look at my life and I know you've forgotten The promise you made to me I think that's rotten I'm hopelessly lost and there's hardly a sound anymore Coming through that can show me around 'Cause I'm endlessly, endlessly searching the crowd Looking for something from you Just one fucking measly clue Any shitty little tip-off would do But I'm just an ant in Alaska to you I'm just an ant in Alaska An ant in Alaska An ant in Alaska to you
Red Ruby Lips
This is not a Liz Phair song, I don't know where it's from. I am not going to transcribe because the quality on my version makes it almost impossible to discern the words. Sorry.
Miss Lucy
Miss Lucy had a steamboat Miss Lucy had a steamboat Miss Lucy had a steamboat The steamboat had a bell Miss Lucy went to heaven And her steamboat went to hell You're not goin' home (???) Can't know my number And don't disconnect me Or cut off the radio Behind the refridgerator There was a piece of glass Miss Lucy fell upon it And she cut her little ass Me no more questions I'll tell your no more lies The boys are in the parlour Zipping down their flies Are in the meadow Bees are in the park And the boys and the girls, they are fucking And the girls and the boys, they are fucking And the girls and the girls, they are fucking You know I've got a proud heart(??) (4x)
Dead Shark
Don't be so rude I was only trying to make conversation Take that wall down, this is not going anywhere (?) Got a dead shark on our hands Got a dead shark on our hands Got a dead shark on our hands I'm just trying to get a handle on this I'm just trying to figure out where I stand I'm just trying So sue me for trying Do I just have a problem, or did you also think that this was hot? I really hate talking to you on the telephone Can't we just work it out Let you come on over? Can't we just work it out That you stay here and mine? I'm not looking over my shoulder I'm not gazing up at the stars I'm not thinking about years in the future I'm just wondering where you'll sleep tonight Do I just have a problem, or did you also think that this was hot? I'm not looking over my shoulder I'm not gazing up at the stars I'm not thinking five years in the future I'm just wondering where you'll sleep tonight
One Less Thing
I took my dog to the vet yesterday He gave her a shot and took her away And when I got home and got ready for bed I realized what I'd done And that's one less thing on my mind I left the man I'm in love with behind I moved to Chicago and told him I'd write But now when I wake up and I see the wrong face I realize what I've done And that's one less thing on my mind Did you think that I knew what I was doing When I said that I had to grow up on my own for a while? Now I'm dogless and loveless and cold in a midwestern winter If I'd known what I was doing I sure as fuck wouldn't be here Now I like to think that I like to learn from mistakes But I've made that error in judgement one too many times And I'm not the wiser and I'm sure not the wealthier I wish to god that I had been healthier mentally when I decided to make up my mind But that's one less thing takes up my time Now I'm lining up six or seven great jobs My hair's looking great and my friends are all snobs But I don't have my man and I don't have my dog and I don't have very much fun And that's one less thing on my mind
Money
Elvis's is probably 30 years old He looks like a Saab in '45 Cliff says he's got a headache Looks like shit and feels like America Looks like shit and feels like America Teach them kids about disease (?) 'Cause Lois can't think of anything to run from(?) And you just can't get up anymore(?) They just can't get up anymore Looks like shit and feels like America Looks like shit and feels like America Why fly when you can walk? Why sing when you can talk? Why hit the wall when you just punched the clock? Oh why sing when you can talk? Jeremy's talking about the Bronx He thinks it's probably a bad place to be He says, it's gonna be worse than Manhattan Looks like shit and feels like America Looks like shit and feels like America Take the train on up to the zoo Don't look on what you didn't do 'Cause everybody's got a Monday Looks like shit and feels like America Looks like shit and feels like America It's nice to be liked But it's better by far to get paid I know that most of the friends that I had Don't really see it that way But if you could give 'em each one wish How much do you wanna bet? They'd wish success for themselves and their friends And that would include lots of money That would surely include lots of money So if there are any of you little green elves Sitting out there today Step right up, wish me old Irish luck But I also need shitloads of money And if there are any of you dirty rich old men Sitting out there today Step right up, I'm a lucky fuck But I'm gonna need shitloads of money I'm gonna need shitloads of money I have got to have shitloads of money
Transcribed by Jennie Corman. Corrections? E-mail me
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